Now what?

I posted here a few weeks ago, telling of my sister in England who had lung cancer. I visited her in October with my son. It was a very meaningful visit.

I returned on 4th January alone. She had deteriorated rapidly and was in hospital. She died on the 18th January. Her funeral was on 23 January - exactly a week ago. I returned to Australia last Tuesday.
Everything is too hard to grasp. This time last week I was at her funeral in England in the freezing cold, surrounded by family members. Now I am alone, in Australia, and in a heat wave. My children who rang me everyday while I was in England are now nowhere to be seen, busy with their lives. I have been alone since Tuesday. I wish I hadn't come home. I don't feel like talking to anybody or going anywhere. All I do is cry, and feel lost.

Jo - marg