Nights are the worst
Wed, 16/09/2009 - 00:00
Does anyone else find night times the worst time of the day? They are so long and dark and this is when your mind goes through endless turmoil.
It's fine during the day as you can occupy yourself with many things but at night when dinner is cooked, cleaning done and it's time to rest up there sometimes isn't alot of rest. The mind replays many things I wish I could forget but at the same time I would not have done anything different while I was caring for my late mother.
Many times I have cried over the loss of my mother and wake up looking rather like a blowfish the next day only to have someone at work tell me I look rather terrible. This always makes me feel better than I did when I got to work.
I also find I can not stand silence while I am at home now on my own. I always have to have some noise going on in the background whether radio/tv.
Being alone with my thoughts at the moment is one of my enemies.
Without the distractions you have during the day, your mind wanders; and it's not always so easy to look at the positives. Ive found nights particularly hard as well. I tend to watch TV until I'm really sleepy, then turn it off. You need something to think about, other than everything that's wrong, and often some random, trivial drama is good for that =).