How to help?
Tue, 20/09/2011 - 23:00
I am 34 years old and my boyfriend of 6 months was diagnosed with prostate cancer about 6 weeks ago. He is 37. During this time he has basically stopped all communication with me, his last communication being a text message saying that he had to focus all his energy on himself. I still don't know his exact diagnosis and when I ask him he says that it is better for me not to know all the details so that I will be better able to "move on" with my life. He has also said that he hasn't told anyone one of his cancer, not even his parents, siblings or close friends. I want to respect his wishes but I am hurting. I am scared as I don't know how serious his cancer is, and I am worried that he has decided to try and go through this journey on his own without any help from anyone. I just don't know what to do.
Wed, 21/09/2011 - 12:35
#2
Re: How to help?
Thanks so much for your comments. I have been reading up on the cancer, and by understanding how this cancer works, it does make me feel better. I do wish he would respond to me, or open up to someone else. But thank you so much for what you have said. It has made me feel a little better.
Wed, 21/09/2011 - 12:58
#3
Re: How to help?
Perhaps the Cancer Council can help you with infomation as well.
I'm glad I could be a tiny help .
Wed, 21/09/2011 - 15:46
#4
Re: How to help?
Hi Monty,
I wish you all the best.
Jules
Thu, 22/09/2011 - 12:43
#5
Re: How to help?
Jules 68 said the things I was afraid to say in case it worried you more -the downsides.
Thu, 22/09/2011 - 17:53
#6
Re: How to help?
Hi Silly and Monty,
Could you see those comments, after I wrote it and posted, I edited to "wish you well" comment, as I realised it might be a little too strong for Monty.
Jules
Sat, 24/09/2011 - 12:07
#7
Re: How to help?
Hi Jules,
I only saw the comments of you wishing me well. I didn't see the others. Don't worry, I have been doing a little reading myself and I am starting to get an idea of the downsides. It's all a little confusing for me at the moment.
YHanks for your words of support.
Monty.
Thu, 22/09/2011 - 22:09
#8
Re: How to help?
Yes ,Jules,I saw your comment wishing Monty well.
Thu, 22/09/2011 - 22:10
#9
Re: How to help?
Yes ,Jules,I saw your comment wishing Monty well.
Thu, 22/09/2011 - 22:10
#10
Re: How to help?
Yes ,Jules,I saw your comment wishing Monty well.
My husband had prostate cancer 6 years ago, He was 59 then . Apart from me he told nobody for a long time . It was moderately advanced , We saw A couple of specialists to consider treatment options and were given booklets with information.
We both read these and discussed treatments and possible side effects. There was only as much discussion as needed . Most men won't talk as much as most women at these times.There semed to be a downside to each treatment available and the specialist didn't lean toward any one option so the decision was my husbands. He did want my imput but we had been together a long time.
I can certainly understand your boyfriend's reaction .He is very young to get this .Has he told you anything more? How slow or aggressive it is ? Does he have someone else close to him with whom he can to talk this over? It must have been a huge shock . I hope they caught it early.
I don't know what to say to make you feel better .Perhaps in time he may decide to let someone help hom through this. It does for now seem that he is on his own . If you read up about this cancer you will understand why he doesn't want to talk to you about it. Sorry I can't help more.