Dealing with family

All families come with a history:

• How each person relates to the others
• What role each person plays in the family
• How each person feels toward the person with cancer
• How each person deals with illness and stress
• How to express emotions

The demands of caring can often release unresolved tensions, and conflicts could arise leaving you feeling worse than you already do. Resolving conflicts can be difficult, but it’s usually better not to try to "fix" your family problems, but just to try to get everyone on the same side for the sake of the person you are caring for.

When communicating with family members, remember what you are trying to achieve and prepare a list of topics you want to discuss. Everyone should have a chance to participate, and people should avoid using "should" statements.

Some tips for dealing with family:

• Talk about your feelings honestly and directly, and encourage others to do the same
• Keep family members up to date
• Be reasonable in your expectations
• Allow family members to help in ways that match their strengths
• Say thanks or show it in some other way
• Accept family members for who they are and expect differences of opinion
• Try to respect others’ views and be flexible
• Arrange a family meeting