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  • 15 Jan 2013 - 22:23
    Lynnedk's picture

    I was with him and he knew me. I read him his favourite bits of the Bible. He couldn't breathe - just gasping. I was holding his hand, he was gripping mine, and his breaths slowed, and his grip slackened, and he left me. Ray died today at 1110h. I'm so glad I was with him - he was terrified of dying alone in a hospital.

    I'm okay. I knew this day would come, and I've been prepared for it for the last month. I'm happy that he came back to me at the end. I'm not sure I could have handled it if he'd still been in the delerium - he wasn't my Ray then.

    13 comment(s)
  • 15 Jan 2013 - 17:46
    bausc001's picture

    What has become increasingly obvious to me is when people say, " I am here for you", it doesn't always ring true.
    Since my Mum's diagnosis I have found myself having to ignore more people than I thought I would.
    When I recently went on holiday, a family member accused me of "abandoning my Mum". When I expressed online the grief I was feeling another person said, "you are making your Mum's cancer all about you"
    I have been accused of not caring or not caring enough. Or not providing enough financial assistance.

    8 comment(s)
  • 15 Jan 2013 - 16:42
    Jods77's picture

    Support networks of any kind are what can get you through anything, but what happens when the networks that you have you can't talk to about the things that you really want to? How many times can you burst into tears for no reason and exepct your husband to be able to console you?
    Its not that you don't want to talk to them but its that you respect that they are also going through a greiveing process and you feel if you open up to them you will overwhelm them too....especially when the person who you would normally go to for advice was the person who has passed...

    3 comment(s)
  • 15 Jan 2013 - 11:56
    tfox64's picture

    So the good folk at Liverpool Hospital let me out yesterday afternoon. I could not find one person to give me a logical reason as to why I was still there. They all had to agree in the end. I love logic, it is my friend ...
    Really all I have in front of me for the moment is letting the treatment work and monitoring for any changes or side effects (I am pretty tired and a teeny bit nauseous, other tan that no real issues.)
    If I need it I am just 10 minutes from the hospital. I will stay in touch - plenty of Rest and Recuperation in store for me.

    Cheers - Tony F

    1 comment(s)
  • 15 Jan 2013 - 00:28
    bausc001's picture

    In October last year my mum went to doctor in regards to pain in her abdomen. She suspected gallstones. The answer that came back was unexpected. Cancer in her liver. Doctors said at the time that it was unusual for cancer to begin in the liver and we were hopeful that Mum fell into the small percentage. We were wrong. Bad news after bad news. First cancer was found in the bones of her spine and then after more testing it was found in her bowel. The prognosis being that the cancer had started in her bowel and had spread to her liver and bones in her spine.

    2 comment(s)
  • 14 Jan 2013 - 00:26
    <none>'s picture

    After over 2 years of different types of chemo for pancreatic cancer I am now trying to decide whether to go ahead with the 5th different type of treatment a concoction of Fluorouracil and Oxaliplatin not a cure just hope for slowing things down a little odds are not good which I have accepted for the future but was wondering if (even though I know we all can react differently) what this treatment is like from a patients point of view
    Have been told the most likely but am wondering if it will be worth it any help suggestions would be appreciated
    Regards Barbara

    2 comment(s)
  • 12 Jan 2013 - 21:48
    Tamara's picture

    As I read your notes of the conversations you have with Mum, I'm torn and brought to uncontrollable tears. You have written of how sad you feel that it has come down to this, you talk about how the days are passing you buy and you don't remember what the day actually is. I wish this was not happening, i'll be forever scarred

    2 comment(s)
  • 12 Jan 2013 - 17:23
    Josh Bonello 88's picture

    This was something I wrote after doing treatment to talk about the side effects of chemo. Nothing special but still apart of my story Smile

    0 comment(s)
  • 11 Jan 2013 - 23:42
    Lynnedk's picture

    Thanks so much to harker and Jules2 for your insights about the Dex. The psychiatrist got him off it instantly, so you were right there. Thanks, also, to you both and Maddie86 and tfox64 for your support. Invaluable at such an alone time. I hope that I can support others as you have supported me.

    6 comment(s)
  • 11 Jan 2013 - 22:57
    Mango's picture

    After reading everyone else's thoughts, fears, advice, news and words of encouragement I have finally got to the point of sharing mine. Only fair! I have been heartened and inspired by all of you.

    My husband was diagnosed with GBM in August 2006. The date was also the anniversary of the outbreak of World War 1. Seems appropriate and our battle has actually lasted longer.

    6 comment(s)


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