Worry wart

Author: YvieB | July 21st, 2010
YvieB's picture

Hi all

Not sure where to start... it's been an emotional first half to the year with very high high's and very low low's.

3rd February - my darling proposed
4th March - appedicitis - ultrasound also revealed a 'lesion' on my left kidney
5th March - appendix removed
6th March - found out we were 4wks pregnant (had been trying for 5 months)
7th March - MRI
8th March - Results of scan showed an 11cm growth
13th March - radical left nephrectomy (pathology = T3 Chromophobe RCC weighing in at 715g)
17th March - home & in recovery
9th April - miscarriage
24th May - back to work (child care centre manager) and told by employer that i shouldn't book annual leave any time soon as I'd already had a lot of time off.
8th July - left my job - couldn't cope with the stress and high expectation

I feel like my life has fallen apart. I don't recognise myself anymore. Physically I'm OK but I find myself feeling overwhelming sadness every now and again.

We just found out we're 5wks pregnant again and I'm wracked with worry about whether something will go wrong. I can't help but worry that the cancer will return too.

As many people have told me, I know I'm lucky... things could be so much worse.
I just wanted to say it helps to read other's blogs to put things in perspective. Thank you! Smile

Yvie

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WishingStar's picture

Re: Worry wart

Posted by WishingStar - 22 Jul 2010 - 06:37

Hi Yvie,
What a rollercoaster you have been on and all in just 6 months! You obviously have an amazing amount of strength and resilience. Good luck with the new pregnancy! Rest up and take care of yourself,
Cyber Hugs,
Nicole

YvieB's picture

Re: Worry wart

Posted by YvieB - 21 Jul 2010 - 21:44

Mrs Elton

You are an inspiration

Thank you and best wishes also

Yvie

Mrs Elton's picture

Re: Worry wart

Posted by Mrs Elton - 21 Jul 2010 - 19:42

Hi Yvie,

I am sorry to hear of your miscarriage in April and of course for the cancer diagnosis.

I am glad to hear that you are 'ok' physically.

I can relate to your fear regarding your new pregnancy, I sufferred many miscarriages and early pregnancy losses, none of which could be explained.

When I was pregnant with our first son I was so afraid, based on previous experience, that something was going to go wrong. When I got to 9 weeks, I decided that I would tell other people as I felt if I kept it to myself then I was sort of expecting the worst and also, I knew I would need a big support network around me.

I wanted to enjoy the pregnancy but couldn't allow myself to get too far ahead, we didn't even start any kind of shopping for cot/pram etc until I was 27 weeks along.

I am now the very lucky and proud mum of two wonderful boys, aged 6 and 8, who were born after I had 10 pregnancy losses, (seven miscarriages and 3 ectopic pregnancies), 6 IVF procedures, removal of one of my fallopian tubes and I conceived them both naturally!! Now, after the loss of my husband and their father just 7 1/2 weeks ago, they are my rocks. They are my reason for getting up in the morning.

I wish you and your fiance, congratulations by the way, peace and joy as you face this together.

My very best wishes to you all,

Mrs Elton