The path of 'What if' - that way lies madness
It is great to be part of this site and a privilege to take part in some of the discussions.
Some of the entries have raised that 'What if' question so I would like to adjust my sail a little bit and add my perspective.
A long long time ago my eldest son died. We were pretty distraught by that. Many years later we found out that there was a genetic issue in the family that the older generation didn't talk about. The younger generation do and make sure that they have all the tests available. So there area lot of 'what if's' there.
My youngest son has had a pretty troubled existence and has a problem that has only recently been properly diagnosed. If there had been a diagnosis, and goodness knows we tried to get one, when he had been at school and there had been intervention then - who knows?
I have a cancer that has a strong family link, yet no one in the family has had that cancer. There is another cancer that runs through the family and I have been monitored for that for the past twenty years. So is my cancer the result of something else, like a chemical exposure. Lots of 'what if's' there.
The problem is that if we went down these pathways we could end up becoming quite bitter and twisted people. I have seen it happen with others. So we have always taken the attitude that going down the path of the 'what if's' is not worth it - that way lies madness.
Does that say we stoically accept what has happened. No way. We work with what we have been given, try to make the best outcome from that. We try to ensure that we keep the boat of life, well trimmed, sailing to it's best, and performing as well as it can under the conditions. If a roque wave swamps us, we bail. If we get a knock from the wind that sets us back, we retrim the sails and try to make up the distance. We keep going.
So, I've adjusted my sail and that's my contribution.
I keep sailing on in this middle passage. I am sailing into the wind and the dark. But I am doing my best to keep my boat steady and my sails full. Arthur Ashe