One year........
One year ago yesterday, I was living a normal life.
One year ago today, my life changed forever. We discovered that Cancer had invaded my husband's body and in doing so, invaded the lives of our children and me.
One year of uncertainty, of appointments, of worrying, of tests and scans, chemo and radiation,. One year of feeling out of control.
I hate it. I have had enough.
I can't help but wonder what I will be feeling one year from now.
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Re: One year........
Hi Jill. I really don't know what you are going through as it is your husband and you have 2 small children. Does it make any difference if it is your dad who is so sick? I am trying to back off from this site as I feel so guilty that I am complaining when my dad is still here when there are so many who are much worse off than me. I am prepared to have dad here with me but that is up to him. It's such a hard time and I feel so helpless and all I can do is ring him every night and talk about good times but it is really up to him to make that decision to come and live with me but at least I have made it clear to him he is so welcome. My heart really goes out to you as you have a bigger burden than me. Take care of yourself xoChris
Re: One year........
Hi Jill,
Nothing much to say except that I am thinking of you and your boys - having just passed the 'one year since my life changed' mark myself - I feel a different kind of grief for what I have lost in that time myself,
thinking of you,
cyber hugs,
Nicole
xoxoxo
Re: One year........
Thanks ladies,
Yes, we go on, tomorrow is another day and it is coming whether we like it or not!!
It is all so very draining, physically, financially and above all emotionally. The well is running dry and there is no rain in sight.
Guess it might be my tears that replenish it.
Hoping we all have a better day today. Thanks for caring, it means so much....
Jill xx
Re: One year........
Hi Jill
I am sort of going through the same thing. Almost same timeline as well. One year ago, on 20 Feb 2009, hubby collapsed at work and after a trip to emergency we found out that he had a brain tumour. Last week was hard because I kept thinking this time last year my life was so normal and I was content. Well, Feb 20th was first anniversary of the start, Feb 27 will be 1st anniversary of diagnosis. We will have a lot of firsts this year. I sold hubby's car on Saturday and driving to the delaership I found myself tearing up because its the first of his things I was attending to. Mum and dad left yesterday so last night was my first night as the only adult in the house since hubby's passing. This Friday is the school picnic, our first without Paramjeet.
Lots of firsts and I am sure I am not going to like all of them.
Just want you to know you are not alone and I am thinking of you.
Regards
Sangeeta
Re: One year........
Hey Sangeeta,
A year of firsts and as you say, you are not going to like them all.
Selling Paramjeet's car must have been very painful, the 'space' it leaves behind is enormous (we sold Greg's back in January) and driving into the garage is a constant reminder that things have changed.
I know you mentioned a while ago that having your Mum and Dad staying with you put extra pressure on you to 'hold it together' so to speak but I am sure it must be very hard to accept that you are the only adult in the house. It must be hard not to have their help and support right there with you.
Will be thinking of you on Friday, hope your school picnic can have moments of happiness and light.
Thanks for thinking of me, I regularly think of you all.
Jill xo
Re: One year........
Hi Jill ,Alana and wifeyb. Its been 6 months since my fiance was diagnosed and I feel your pain.We can only take each day and each new stage as it comes.sending prayers and love to all the carers out there.
Gail xx
Re: One year........
Oh Jill,
I feel like there are no words to help, but want to put some words there anyway just so you know I am thinking of you.
Passing you some strength through cyber space, and you too wifeyb, I really feel for you both.
Alana
xxxxx
cyber hugs by the millions
Re: One year........
Hi Jill,
It has only been 3 months since hubby was daignosed but I feel the same... It is so hard to juggle your needs over his.. not compare and to keep trying to keep it together on the outer while inside you are screaming!!!
Hubby is getting sick of being sick, of dying basically.. This is not quality of life... yes he is here but barely. I hate that my babies have to watch this... that my son can;t do stuff with his dad.
I'm not sure how long his will to live will continue...
but tomorrow is another day.. we make the most of it don't we...
thinking of you lots
Love wifeyb