My darling man won't be coming home.
I have had the most terrible 3 weeks witnessing what this dreadful disease has done to my darling husband Rex.
We knew it was terminal 6 months ago and we thought we had prepped ourselves pretty well but he didn't get a chance to fulfill some of his 'bucket list' because he has deteriated so quickly.
He had a fall and was admitted to hospital and then he fell out of the hospital bed and hurt his ribs and elbow.The brain mets have been so awful for him and to witness someone who had such an intelligent and quick witted mind lose his cognitive thinking is so painful.He was transferred to Palliative Care Unit and I was informed today that he will not be coming back home and to prepare myself for his passing.
Not having him back home even with all the hospital equipment set up including an oxygen concentrater etc was like a big kick in the teeth for me,it is like the first death.
Anyway!! my poor man is having his morphine and sedatives given via canulars in his stomach because his veins have collapsed.
The Drs and staff are amazed at how long I was able to care for him at home and I would still love to do this because it was an honour for me to care for him and love him every moment of our time together they are coming to pick up all the equipment on Monday so it will hit me hard.
I just wanted to share with you and sorry I have not been here for awhile.
Gentle hugs to all of you who are going through your own journey,