My darling man won't be coming home.
I have had the most terrible 3 weeks witnessing what this dreadful disease has done to my darling husband Rex.
We knew it was terminal 6 months ago and we thought we had prepped ourselves pretty well but he didn't get a chance to fulfill some of his 'bucket list' because he has deteriated so quickly.
He had a fall and was admitted to hospital and then he fell out of the hospital bed and hurt his ribs and elbow.The brain mets have been so awful for him and to witness someone who had such an intelligent and quick witted mind lose his cognitive thinking is so painful.He was transferred to Palliative Care Unit and I was informed today that he will not be coming back home and to prepare myself for his passing.
Not having him back home even with all the hospital equipment set up including an oxygen concentrater etc was like a big kick in the teeth for me,it is like the first death.
Anyway!! my poor man is having his morphine and sedatives given via canulars in his stomach because his veins have collapsed.
The Drs and staff are amazed at how long I was able to care for him at home and I would still love to do this because it was an honour for me to care for him and love him every moment of our time together they are coming to pick up all the equipment on Monday so it will hit me hard.
I just wanted to share with you and sorry I have not been here for awhile.
Gentle hugs to all of you who are going through your own journey,
Dotty xx
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Re: My darling man won't be coming home.
Dear Dotty, gentle hugs to you too. I cannot begin to imagine what you must be going through and hope and wish that you can find the strength to keep going. My thoughts are with you. Maya
Re: My darling man won't be coming home.
Sending love Dotty
Alison xxx
Re: My darling man won't be coming home.
Thankyou everyone,you are such an amazing support for me right now and I know I am not alone..family and friends want and need to know heaps of things and often don't know how to help or what to say in this situation.So! it gives me strength to hear from you as most of you have travelled along this awful Cancer road.
Travel gently
Dotty xx
Re: My darling man won't be coming home.
Dearest Dotty, there are no words I can offer to ease the pain and hurt you are going through right now,you have done an amazing job to look after Rex for as long as you have and now that you can no longer do this at home must be truly heartbreaking.The love and support you have for Rex will continue whilst he is in hospital and beyond.You are a very brave lady and it truly breaks my heart to read this news.You and Rex are in my thoughts and prayers.As I have so often heard and appreciated hearing from you gently gently . Tina
Re: My darling man won't be coming home.
I am so sorry that things are not working out the way you would 've wished. I cannot think of any words to say that will make you feel better. I know that others here have gone through similar experiences and they would know how you must feel so that may help a little.
Re: My darling man won't be coming home.
Dotty, my heart aches for you, it is so hard to say goodbye to somebody you love so much, Sending yourself & your husband Love, strength & (((HUGS)))
Alison xxx
Re: My darling man won't be coming home.
Dotty,
How sad that this time is facing u. I think we all hope and pray the dr's get it wrong when they diagnose terminal cancer. I hope ur end time together is filled with love and may ur husband find peace at the end of this journey.
Sending u warm wishes.
Ruby
Re: My darling man won't be coming home.
We were on palliative care for 2 years since the first DX, so it was becoming a "normal" part of our lives, at least we still had each other. But that was not to be.
There was never a more devastating time in my life 6 months ago when my wife passed away. Right up until the very moment she stopped breathing and the light left her beautiful blue eyes I was in denial.
This couldnt be happening, when will we wake up from this terrible nightmare to be able to resume our lives and look forward to a future together again.
The cancer and the treatment take such a terrible toll on the sufferers and the carers, there are no words that can begin to describe what it feels like. It would have been kinder to take me, I would have suffered less.
There are many people walking with you at this time Dotty, and understand, and I am not just saying that.
God bless
Wombat4
Re: My darling man won't be coming home.
Oh Dotty...I am so sorry you both are going through this. You are an amazing woman to care for him as long as you did. I'll keep you in my prayers. Jan