My 83year old dad with oesophageus cancer

It has taken me 11 days to return to this site and reread all my entries re my precious dad. He died 11 days ago- we finally got him down with me but he only lasted 1 day with me then back in local hospital with same problems. After a week the doctors etc told me he couldn't live with me as he was bedridden etc -that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do-let my dad know he wasn't coming home- he had not even seen his rooms set up at my place!!! He had a stroke eventually and wasn't the same again but I am SO greatful that my daughter and I got to spend every day in hospital with him and also he didn't lose his sense of humour till the very end. Am especially thankful that my daughter and I got to stay with him the whole night before he passed and I know he knew we were there with him. I always thought the past two years were hard but they were nothing compared to now- I just don't know how to go on - he was my best friend and I could always talk to him about anything- am so so lost at the moment as I don't know where to go from here. Thank you all for listening and giving advice over past 12 mths. I urge anyone has cancer or those who have a loved one with cancer to contact this site as there are so many wonderful people there to listen and help